JANE, a skit
-Vanessa Rivas
A woman, Jane, is protesting outside a building with a "PP" on the wall. A man, the Michael, approaches with a bag of computer stuff. He can have a shirt with the business name like "Computer Cowboys" or some such dorky name. She steps in his way when he approaches. He tries to counter and she counters.
MICHAEL Um... I... uh... have to go...
JANE Go PP?
MICHAEL No... uh... inside.
JANE No one is going inside.
MICHAEL Why not?
JANE I'm protesting this place. What they are doing in there is wrong?
MICHAEL Really?
JANE Yeah... don't you read the news?
MICHAEL Sometimes... I have this app on my phone, but I never seem to know anything but celebrity news. I know all about upcoming movies and such... but I miss out on stuff like earthquakes and plagues. I really need a new app.
JANE Definitely.
MICHAEL But I'm not a client. I just am here to fix their computers.
JANE I can't allow that either. If I stop their computers, then I stop them.
MICHAEL Well, I don't know if the computer system will cripple them... although it seems like everything needs a computer these days. Even things like plumbing... even the plumbers are getting these little gadgets that you sign to pay the bill. I never like to touch plumber stuff though so it's really hard to sign it.
JANE So I stop you... then I stop them.
MICHAEL I guess... kind of.
JANE So... stop.
MICHAEL I'm stopping... now what?
JANE I'm not sure... no one ever stops.
MICHAEL So they just kind of push past you?
JANE They say mean things usually and I get discouraged.
MICHAEL Really? People can be such jerks sometimes.
JANE They won't even listen... at least they could take one of my brochures and keep an open mind.
MICHAEL I'll take one.JANE Really?MICHAEL Sure.
Jane gets excited and gives him a brochure.
MICHAEL Oh wow...
JANE What?
MICHAEL This is the coolest looking brochure I've ever seen. I mean look at this artwork. Who did this?
JANE I did... each one is hand drawn... a unique piece of art from my soul.
Michael looks at more than one
MICHAEL You're really good.(Jane is embarrassed)
JANE Stop looking at my art and read what it's about... look at what this place is doing.
MICHAEL That is kind of bad.
JANE Kind of? More than kind of.
MICHAEL I didn't know they did this kind of thing.
JANE Doesn't it matter to you who you're helping?
MICHAEL I just do my job... I don't really think about what a business might be doing... what they're mission is.
JANE It doesn't bother you that you're helping a place do something bad like this? Or you one of these people who think this isn't bad?
MICHAEL I agree... it's bad... I've always thought so... I'm one of those people who think hurting any living thing is wrong... I'm anti-anything that harms the living... people or animals.
JANE You're all right, man.
MICHAEL Thanks.
JANE Peace.
MICHAEL Peace.
JANE You might be the first person I've stopped... and enlightened. How does it feel?
MICHAEL Huh?
JANE To be enlightened?
MICHAEL Not sure... kind of confusing.
JANE Talk to me about it.
MICHAEL Uh... really?
JANE Yeah.
MICHAEL Well... I have a job to do... but now I don't want to do it... and I'm wondering if I'll get fired if I don't.
JANE Oh, man... that's heavy.
MICHAEL You've really embraced the hippy thing huh?
JANE Sure right.
MICHAEL But you're younger than me. And I'm not old enough to be a hippy.
JANE You're never too young to be a hippy... well, a flower child... I'm not in to the drugs and free love thing.
MICHAEL Why not? I mean... that's good... I mean... drugs are bad.
JANE Free love ain't good either... love shouldn't be free for the taking by anyone. It should be about finding that perfect person... that single soul mate in this universe you were made for.
MICHAEL Oh, so you mean like one person you love... not lots of people.
JANE Exactly.
MICHAEL That would be nice.
JANE What?
MICHAEL Finding that person.
JANE Yeah... finding that perfect match... the one who will be the yin to your yang... the balance to your force.
MICHAEL Oh... Star Wars? You a fan?
JANE I've seen it enough... my brothers watched it over and over so many times I have it memorized.
MICHAEL I'm a bit of a sci fi nut myself.
JANE You're a computer guy... I kind of figured.
MICHAEL A guess that is a bit cliche'. And I supposed you like the movie the "Notebook"...
JANE What's cliche' about the Notebook?
MICHAEL Seems like chicks always like the Notebook.
JANE That's not true.(She gets annoyed and turns away, crossing her arms)
MICHAEL I was just joking.
JANE Oh.
MICHAEL Well... I guess I better go back to work and get fired or something.(He starts to go slowly)
JANE Oh, man. I don't want you to get fired.
MICHAEL But you're right. They are doing bad stuff in there.
JANE But I don't want you to lose your job. I'd feel terrible.
MICHAEL It's okay... I hate my job. I never wanted to be computer guy.
JANE What do you want to be?
MICHAEL A writer.
JANE What kind?
MICHAEL I write sci fi... and superhero stories. I know... cliche'.
JANE I kind of like superhero stuff actually.
MICHAEL Really?
JANE Who's your favorite hero?
MICHAEL Oddly it's one no one ever heard of... but I have every comic... I loved the series... it's called ROM... it's about a robot alien who comes to earth to save humanity from these creatures that possess them. But he's all misunderstood and such because people think he's hurting people by destroying the alien demons inside them.
JANE Wow, that sounds cool. I've never heard of him before.
MICHAEL Hardly anyone has. But I want to write something that cool... I want my work to have something to say... even if not a lot of people read it... I still want to say something good... and important.
JANE Right on, man.
MICHAEL Who's your favorite superhero?
JANE I hate to say... yours is way cooler.
MICHAEL Come on... tell me... I'm curious.
JANE I know everyone likes them but X-Men... I can't get enough of the X-Men. I especially like Rogue... I like how she can touch people and take their powers.(Jane grabs the Michael's hand. He is startled but doesn't pull away. He likes it)
MICHAEL I thought Rogue's touch could destroy a person.(She looks at him)
JANE You look okay... feel okay?
MICHAEL I feel a little funny.
JANE Don't die on my now.(She hugs his hand and then lets go)Did I steal any of your powers?
MICHAEL I'm not sure... know anything about computers?
JANE Not more than before. And I already play most those games you know.
MICHAEL What makes you think I am a gamer?
JANE Don't all guys like you play video games?
MICHAEL Guys like me?
JANE Cute computer guys?
MICHAEL Cute?JANE Yeah, you're kind of cute.
MICHAEL Oh...
JANE You didn't know that you're cute?
MICHAEL Well... uh... I didn't... I mean... I don't think...
JANE Geez... you just got cuter.
MICHAEL Stop that.
JANE I can't call you cute?
MICHAEL Not... here...
JANE Where?
MICHAEL I don't know.
JANE You're blushing.(She takes his hand. He looks around nervously)
JANE Does holding your hand make you nervous?
MICHAEL I don't know.
JANE Want me to stop?
MICHAEL I don't know.
JANE Geez... stop being so cute.
MICHAEL Okay.
She looks at his hands
JANE So what games have you played?
MICHAEL Nothing recent... except Angry Birds.
JANE Everyone has played Angry Birds.
MICHAEL Angry Birds Star Wars.
JANE Okay... not that one.
MICHAEL I'm from the old school of gaming... I've even played Pong. I love arcade games... going to the arcade with a bag of quarters. Something about standing there... losing tons of quarters... seeing how long you could make a quarter last. Quarters made it exciting... made it a challenge... made you play harder... and I loved watching people play too... I would have had fun watching you play.
JANE Watching me? That's creepy.
MICHAEL I'm sorry.
JANE Creepy in a cute sort of way.
MICHAEL Don't you think that's true though... that playing at home is missing something... it's so much cooler playing when people can see you do it... like a performance art... and it's a community... arcades were a community for people like me.
JANE Like us... I liked them too. I'm just old enough to see them die out.
MICHAEL I still hunt around for arcades... stuck in corners of bowling alleys and pizza places.
JANE Pizza and video games... a match made in heaven.
MICHAEL Oh, yeah... you're telling me.(They smile at each other shyly and then are quiet. She moves closer to him and holds his hand again)
JANE So... what are you gonna do?
MICHAEL Actually... I could take down their entire computer system.
JANE Really?
MICHAEL I could plant a virus... one that would clear their entire system... all their client lists... all their schedules and appointments.
JANE That could shut them down... not forever but it's a start. I'd love you forever if you did that.
MICHAEL Oh... well... I... uh...
JANE Do it... please.
MICHAEL I've never done anything bad like this before.
JANE It's not bad... it's good... really good. What they do is bad. So very very bad.
MICHAEL My first act of social protest...
JANE Making a difference.
MICHAEL Fighting the machine.
JANE Fight the machine, man.
MICHAEL I'll make it look like I fixed everything and then tonight the virus can kick in. Even if they don't trace it back to me, I still might get fired... but I don't really care anymore. It would be a blessing in disguise. I have some savings... I could write for awhile. Maybe I could do a comic... you could illustrate... you're good.
JANE Not that good.
MICHAEL Best artist I've ever met.
JANE How many artists have you met?
MICHAEL A few.
JANE Liar.
MICHAEL So... should I do it?
JANE Yes... please... and we're go have pizza after... I know a place that has these video games in the tables.
MICHAEL I love those... it's a date... I mean... it's a...(She takes his hands again)
JANE It's a date.
MICHAEL Okay.
JANE Go get 'em... make me proud, cutie.
MICHAEL Fight the machine.
She gives him a kiss on the cheek
JANE For good luck... for a good man.
MICHAEL Am I good?
JANE The best.
MICHAEL Here goes.
JANE You're a hero today... fighting for life.
MICHAEL May the living triumph over the machine.
JANE Yeah, man!(He goes inside)
JANE I can’t believe this.
-Vanessa Rivas
A woman, Jane, is protesting outside a building with a "PP" on the wall. A man, the Michael, approaches with a bag of computer stuff. He can have a shirt with the business name like "Computer Cowboys" or some such dorky name. She steps in his way when he approaches. He tries to counter and she counters.
MICHAEL Um... I... uh... have to go...
JANE Go PP?
MICHAEL No... uh... inside.
JANE No one is going inside.
MICHAEL Why not?
JANE I'm protesting this place. What they are doing in there is wrong?
MICHAEL Really?
JANE Yeah... don't you read the news?
MICHAEL Sometimes... I have this app on my phone, but I never seem to know anything but celebrity news. I know all about upcoming movies and such... but I miss out on stuff like earthquakes and plagues. I really need a new app.
JANE Definitely.
MICHAEL But I'm not a client. I just am here to fix their computers.
JANE I can't allow that either. If I stop their computers, then I stop them.
MICHAEL Well, I don't know if the computer system will cripple them... although it seems like everything needs a computer these days. Even things like plumbing... even the plumbers are getting these little gadgets that you sign to pay the bill. I never like to touch plumber stuff though so it's really hard to sign it.
JANE So I stop you... then I stop them.
MICHAEL I guess... kind of.
JANE So... stop.
MICHAEL I'm stopping... now what?
JANE I'm not sure... no one ever stops.
MICHAEL So they just kind of push past you?
JANE They say mean things usually and I get discouraged.
MICHAEL Really? People can be such jerks sometimes.
JANE They won't even listen... at least they could take one of my brochures and keep an open mind.
MICHAEL I'll take one.JANE Really?MICHAEL Sure.
Jane gets excited and gives him a brochure.
MICHAEL Oh wow...
JANE What?
MICHAEL This is the coolest looking brochure I've ever seen. I mean look at this artwork. Who did this?
JANE I did... each one is hand drawn... a unique piece of art from my soul.
Michael looks at more than one
MICHAEL You're really good.(Jane is embarrassed)
JANE Stop looking at my art and read what it's about... look at what this place is doing.
MICHAEL That is kind of bad.
JANE Kind of? More than kind of.
MICHAEL I didn't know they did this kind of thing.
JANE Doesn't it matter to you who you're helping?
MICHAEL I just do my job... I don't really think about what a business might be doing... what they're mission is.
JANE It doesn't bother you that you're helping a place do something bad like this? Or you one of these people who think this isn't bad?
MICHAEL I agree... it's bad... I've always thought so... I'm one of those people who think hurting any living thing is wrong... I'm anti-anything that harms the living... people or animals.
JANE You're all right, man.
MICHAEL Thanks.
JANE Peace.
MICHAEL Peace.
JANE You might be the first person I've stopped... and enlightened. How does it feel?
MICHAEL Huh?
JANE To be enlightened?
MICHAEL Not sure... kind of confusing.
JANE Talk to me about it.
MICHAEL Uh... really?
JANE Yeah.
MICHAEL Well... I have a job to do... but now I don't want to do it... and I'm wondering if I'll get fired if I don't.
JANE Oh, man... that's heavy.
MICHAEL You've really embraced the hippy thing huh?
JANE Sure right.
MICHAEL But you're younger than me. And I'm not old enough to be a hippy.
JANE You're never too young to be a hippy... well, a flower child... I'm not in to the drugs and free love thing.
MICHAEL Why not? I mean... that's good... I mean... drugs are bad.
JANE Free love ain't good either... love shouldn't be free for the taking by anyone. It should be about finding that perfect person... that single soul mate in this universe you were made for.
MICHAEL Oh, so you mean like one person you love... not lots of people.
JANE Exactly.
MICHAEL That would be nice.
JANE What?
MICHAEL Finding that person.
JANE Yeah... finding that perfect match... the one who will be the yin to your yang... the balance to your force.
MICHAEL Oh... Star Wars? You a fan?
JANE I've seen it enough... my brothers watched it over and over so many times I have it memorized.
MICHAEL I'm a bit of a sci fi nut myself.
JANE You're a computer guy... I kind of figured.
MICHAEL A guess that is a bit cliche'. And I supposed you like the movie the "Notebook"...
JANE What's cliche' about the Notebook?
MICHAEL Seems like chicks always like the Notebook.
JANE That's not true.(She gets annoyed and turns away, crossing her arms)
MICHAEL I was just joking.
JANE Oh.
MICHAEL Well... I guess I better go back to work and get fired or something.(He starts to go slowly)
JANE Oh, man. I don't want you to get fired.
MICHAEL But you're right. They are doing bad stuff in there.
JANE But I don't want you to lose your job. I'd feel terrible.
MICHAEL It's okay... I hate my job. I never wanted to be computer guy.
JANE What do you want to be?
MICHAEL A writer.
JANE What kind?
MICHAEL I write sci fi... and superhero stories. I know... cliche'.
JANE I kind of like superhero stuff actually.
MICHAEL Really?
JANE Who's your favorite hero?
MICHAEL Oddly it's one no one ever heard of... but I have every comic... I loved the series... it's called ROM... it's about a robot alien who comes to earth to save humanity from these creatures that possess them. But he's all misunderstood and such because people think he's hurting people by destroying the alien demons inside them.
JANE Wow, that sounds cool. I've never heard of him before.
MICHAEL Hardly anyone has. But I want to write something that cool... I want my work to have something to say... even if not a lot of people read it... I still want to say something good... and important.
JANE Right on, man.
MICHAEL Who's your favorite superhero?
JANE I hate to say... yours is way cooler.
MICHAEL Come on... tell me... I'm curious.
JANE I know everyone likes them but X-Men... I can't get enough of the X-Men. I especially like Rogue... I like how she can touch people and take their powers.(Jane grabs the Michael's hand. He is startled but doesn't pull away. He likes it)
MICHAEL I thought Rogue's touch could destroy a person.(She looks at him)
JANE You look okay... feel okay?
MICHAEL I feel a little funny.
JANE Don't die on my now.(She hugs his hand and then lets go)Did I steal any of your powers?
MICHAEL I'm not sure... know anything about computers?
JANE Not more than before. And I already play most those games you know.
MICHAEL What makes you think I am a gamer?
JANE Don't all guys like you play video games?
MICHAEL Guys like me?
JANE Cute computer guys?
MICHAEL Cute?JANE Yeah, you're kind of cute.
MICHAEL Oh...
JANE You didn't know that you're cute?
MICHAEL Well... uh... I didn't... I mean... I don't think...
JANE Geez... you just got cuter.
MICHAEL Stop that.
JANE I can't call you cute?
MICHAEL Not... here...
JANE Where?
MICHAEL I don't know.
JANE You're blushing.(She takes his hand. He looks around nervously)
JANE Does holding your hand make you nervous?
MICHAEL I don't know.
JANE Want me to stop?
MICHAEL I don't know.
JANE Geez... stop being so cute.
MICHAEL Okay.
She looks at his hands
JANE So what games have you played?
MICHAEL Nothing recent... except Angry Birds.
JANE Everyone has played Angry Birds.
MICHAEL Angry Birds Star Wars.
JANE Okay... not that one.
MICHAEL I'm from the old school of gaming... I've even played Pong. I love arcade games... going to the arcade with a bag of quarters. Something about standing there... losing tons of quarters... seeing how long you could make a quarter last. Quarters made it exciting... made it a challenge... made you play harder... and I loved watching people play too... I would have had fun watching you play.
JANE Watching me? That's creepy.
MICHAEL I'm sorry.
JANE Creepy in a cute sort of way.
MICHAEL Don't you think that's true though... that playing at home is missing something... it's so much cooler playing when people can see you do it... like a performance art... and it's a community... arcades were a community for people like me.
JANE Like us... I liked them too. I'm just old enough to see them die out.
MICHAEL I still hunt around for arcades... stuck in corners of bowling alleys and pizza places.
JANE Pizza and video games... a match made in heaven.
MICHAEL Oh, yeah... you're telling me.(They smile at each other shyly and then are quiet. She moves closer to him and holds his hand again)
JANE So... what are you gonna do?
MICHAEL Actually... I could take down their entire computer system.
JANE Really?
MICHAEL I could plant a virus... one that would clear their entire system... all their client lists... all their schedules and appointments.
JANE That could shut them down... not forever but it's a start. I'd love you forever if you did that.
MICHAEL Oh... well... I... uh...
JANE Do it... please.
MICHAEL I've never done anything bad like this before.
JANE It's not bad... it's good... really good. What they do is bad. So very very bad.
MICHAEL My first act of social protest...
JANE Making a difference.
MICHAEL Fighting the machine.
JANE Fight the machine, man.
MICHAEL I'll make it look like I fixed everything and then tonight the virus can kick in. Even if they don't trace it back to me, I still might get fired... but I don't really care anymore. It would be a blessing in disguise. I have some savings... I could write for awhile. Maybe I could do a comic... you could illustrate... you're good.
JANE Not that good.
MICHAEL Best artist I've ever met.
JANE How many artists have you met?
MICHAEL A few.
JANE Liar.
MICHAEL So... should I do it?
JANE Yes... please... and we're go have pizza after... I know a place that has these video games in the tables.
MICHAEL I love those... it's a date... I mean... it's a...(She takes his hands again)
JANE It's a date.
MICHAEL Okay.
JANE Go get 'em... make me proud, cutie.
MICHAEL Fight the machine.
She gives him a kiss on the cheek
JANE For good luck... for a good man.
MICHAEL Am I good?
JANE The best.
MICHAEL Here goes.
JANE You're a hero today... fighting for life.
MICHAEL May the living triumph over the machine.
JANE Yeah, man!(He goes inside)
JANE I can’t believe this.